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Joke of the Day

"I get a little too excited when I hear the sound of sizzling fajitas go by."

"Why are redneck crimes so hard to solve... Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records. . . . . Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday."

"Why did Marxism never catch on in England? Because then it'd be impossible to get proper tea."

"For my niece's 7th birthday, I'm filling a pinata with a smaller pinata. When she breaks it open I'm gonna yell ""Oh God! She was pregnant!"""

"I'm curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they're taking it out of their cars too?"

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year, and its own the chimney."

"What does a Muslim have if they hate their god? An Allahgy"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, I have that vinyl at home."

"The only thing better than sarcasm... is irony."

"My son got very excited about all the toys he found when I cleaned behind the couch, I should have waited till Christmas morning to do that"