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Joke of the Day

"I actually heard this joke in a dream this morning What do you call a little square that hasn't developed its new dimension yet? Precubescent"

"Why were the police at the day care? Because some of the two-year-olds were resisting a rest."

"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job"

"Why are gay people bad liars? They can't keep a straight face"

"Why aren't orphans laughing? Because jokes aren't apparent."

"I hate people who have a great timing with jokes. When I do it I get responses like ""Who are you and why are you at my grandma's funeral?"""

"[NSFW] If you masturbate with a rowing stick... Will you have an orgasm?"

"What's the difference between origami and a grandpa passing wind? One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old."

"What do you call a cat with an eating disorder? A cat."

"[at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here"