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Joke of the Day

"Me and my baby mama are gonna name the kid Pun It wasn't intended"

"Concussions are like pineapples: what was the question."

"What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand? *hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING?!?!?!"

"If smoking weed ruins your short term memory... ...then what does smoking weed do?"

"A couple of obducents stood at the bar talking. -You Should have seen the other day. I had a beautiful lady come in and her clitoris was like a pickled cucumber. -Wow! So big? No, so salty!"

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"At the water cooler, just ""accidentally"" splashed my pants to hide some pee. This Christmas, I'll give the office a chocolate fountain."

"40-32/2=4! (-1)12 <3 Maths"

"You know what was lit? The Freedom Bus."

"""Something's wrong. He's never walked this far before.""- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them."