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Joke of the Day

"While sitting on the couch my wife said ""I feel like putting on a pair of flip-flops."" Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate."

Next Joke
 
"What's in a tweet? That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess."
"What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway? I don't want to plow my driveway"
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Nothing she just gagged a little."
"*sits down in a classy as hell bar* ""barkeep! a bottle of your finest champagne please. I earn..."" *lowers shades* ""$200 every 4 months"""
"There are 10 types of people in this world Those who can read binary and those who can't."
"What's the Riddler's favourite beverage? Obscuri-tea."
"What did the vertebrate say to the invertebrate? Always thought you was a bit spineless."
"I've finally stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil EDIT: Thanks for front page"
"My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full."