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Joke of the Day

"When I heard that my toaster wasn't water resistant... I was shocked!!"

"Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise... Turns out it was just a Pitbull song on the radio."

"If Disney movies have taught me anything, it's that the whole ENTIRE world speaks English. Including animals and inanimate objects."

"Me: How's it look? Doc: You have 2 months to live M: WHAT?? You're my dentist! D: Then you don't need to come back for a cleaning in 6 mos"

"How Long is a Chinese Mans name. Yes, yes it is. Old joke my grandpa like to tell."

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"Why don't blind people go sky diving? It freaks out the dogs!"

"He died doing what he loved...failing to read my mind."

"Why can't you see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"What did the incestual burger say to his son who's leaving for college? Meat again soon. Nice buns by the way (Lettuce keep that between us)."