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Joke of the Day

"How many people can ride on a bird? Toucan."

"Did you see the headline about Mayweather being afraid to go outside in the heat? ""Mayweather May Weather May Weather"""

"So a staircase said something to me the other day... Actually I lied, it just stared at me."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"You may have a drinking problem - when your mother asks you to toast the bread.....and you raise your glass and say ""here's to the bread""!"

"What kind of bone will a dog never eat? A trombone! From Fargo Ep. 2"

"What do a bass guitar solo and peeing your pants have in common? It's quiet and embarrassing."

"Ugh. New Year's Eve is just around the corner and I STILL haven't picked out which gang sign I'm going to hold up in photos"

"I don't watch basketball... If I wanted to see a load of black guys scoring every minute, I'd go to your mother's house."

"I was just at the beach and heard someone yell ""Help! Shark!"" I am pretty sure that shark wasn't going to help him..."