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Joke of the Day
"""Don't even talk to me until I've Instagrammed my coffee."" - Portland, Oregon"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the blind man who took a hammer and saw?"
"When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress."
"Please spare me the agony of listening to your relationship problems if you always end up with the same idiot."
"What's pink and hard? A pig with a knife."
"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it"
"I think about other women when I'm having sex with my wife. But I always think about her when I'm having sex with other women."
"[Request an Explanation] Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. What does this joke mean?"
"What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky? A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous."
"My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."