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Joke of the Day

"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it"

"Took me forever to find this chronology book. It's about time."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the fact that I cannot eat a meal without staining my shirt & the courage wear a bib in public."

"So Obama's leaving, and Trump is going into office I orange really is the new black."

"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."

"A trailer in a movie theater ended with ""November 20th"" and a guy loudly said, ""thats my birthday"" and a random guy said ""happy birthday"""

"my mom's cat has been in our family since 2002 and i never saw it get a boner til tonight. animals are awful and perverted"

"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop Dr. Dre"

"What is a tuna's favorite city? Albacoreque."

"What's the difference between a scaffold and a magnet? A magnet only has two Poles."