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Joke of the Day

"You better brush your teeth everyday... Oral-B very mad!"

"Did you hear about the doctor who killed anyone over 15 stone? He was a mass murderer."

"What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan."

"6yo lured girls to our beach umbrella by shaking a bag of Cheetos at them & it worked so guys, feel free to steal his fool-proof method."

"I got nothing better to do, dude in a Prius, I will absolutely follow you all the way home just to let you know you're a terrible driver"

"National no bra day wasn't as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support."

"What is the difference between a Windows Phone and a brick? One is a brick and the other is a brick with a screen"

"Two fish are in a tank... The first fish says to the second fish, ""How do we drive this thing?"""

"student: may i use the bathroom? Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet. Student: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: wheres the p? Student: running down my leg."

"[staff meeting] ""Ya so heads up, someone grabbed my lunch from the fridge, and there's a 420% chance you shouldn't eat the brownie inside"""