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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs? They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)"

"Someone told me the first person you look at after something funny happens is the person you like the most... Good thing I always keep a mirror with me"

"Officer, I swear there is a simple explanation.. ~me standing in the street with no pants, one sock and a turkey baster in my hand"

"I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight.... Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert."

"What is the fastest way to lose pounds? Leave EU."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious."

"TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!"

"Why do Redditors pay with exact change? They can't stand a Nickleback!"

"Where's the safest place to keep a Man-eating toilet? The women's room."