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Joke of the Day

"True love is waking up in the middle of the night just to watch your laptop while it sleeps."

"Just texted ""I love you"" to about 40 phone numbers I made up."

"Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek? They won't work in the future either."

"C.R.E.A.M. Reddit Remix Cats rules everything around me/ CREAM get the kitty/ furry furry hair ball"

"[on intercom] Pilot: does anyone know how to land an airplane? asking for a friend, i swear"

"I found a way to make all this gender identity stuff work for me. My right hand will now identify as female. Now I won't have to be sad every time I masturbate."

"What a rip off. There's no pot in this chicken-pot-pie."

"HER: Let me know when you get your shit together. ME: So I guess this is goodbye."

"What did one Labium say to the other Labium? We were tight until that Dick came between us."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9"