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Joke of the Day

"Do you want to join the ""P"" club? Congratulations, ur-ine!"

"There was a kidnapping at my school today... It's okay guys, he woke up."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"Dreading going to gym. It's kinda late. Open 24hrs, tho. Hey, you know who else is open 24hrs? McDonalds. Yeah. I'm going to McDonald's."

"Teacher: ""What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?"" Student: ""Baseballs."" Teacher: ""Baseballs?"" Student: ""Yeah they were Cleveland Indians!"""

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!"

"Who makes the best photo bombers? Muslims"

"What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work? The aftermath"

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They hate to see men have a good time."

"What do you call a cannibal who only eats coma patients? A vegetarian."