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Joke of the Day
"There was a kidnapping at my school today... It's okay guys, he woke up."
Next Joke
"5 years ago, I asked the love of my life on a date. Yesterday, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. Posted this on r/funny and was told to post it here also."
"I just found out insomnia is illegal in my home town. They call it resisting a rest."
"""Just the tip,"" I whisper seductively to the pizza delivery guy, hoping he fulfills my fantasy of not charging me for the pizza."
"What do you call a tight-fisted Wookie? Jewbacca"
"What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman."
"My 40 yard dash time: 5.5 My 40 yard dash time after seeing my gf with my phone in her hands: 4.3"
"What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once"
"First I dated a seventh day adventist and then a mormon I told my mom that im not just in it for the sects but she doesn't believe me."
"Why does my wife think its weird I talk to a bunch of strangers on the Internet, but it's ok for her to talk to multiple cats."