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Joke of the Day

"Who makes the best photo bombers? Muslims"

"The 1st rule of Female Fight Club is: You didn't hear this from me! Seriously do NOT tell anyone I told you, I promised I wouldn't tell."

"What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school? A flat minor."

"Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home I go from charger to charger to charger to charger to charger"

"Romeo possum: [kissing] You're so hot Juliet possum: [plays dead] Romeo possum: Not cool, babe"

"What colour animals have the most sex? Brown Chicken, Brown Cow"

"The bank robbery would have ended much better for me if I hadn't stopped on the way out at the ATM to deposit the money."

"The coffee in my cup is rippling. With all my experiences in the past this means that a dinosaur is coming my way.....Shit."

"If Claudia Schiffer married Brains from The Thunderbirds, she would become Claudia Schiffer-Brains. Claudia Shit for brains."

"Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax? ... ... To stop Hispanic attacks."