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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Rubberto"

"me: you know they never did catch the zodiac killer guy next to me on the bus: why do you keep saying that"

"I told my parents that I wanted to be a comedian for a living and they laughed at me I guess I'm off to a good start"

"""Dad, these glasses make everything look much bigger!"" *Snatches glass and hands to my wife"

"I saw a documentary about beavers... It was the best dam program I've seen in a while"

"What do you call an indentured servant hired specifically to cut meat for you? A *Filet Minion*."

"That chinese tattoo on your neck must be the symbol for unemployment."

"They should make a breathalyzer that can tell if you've consumed energy drinks so it's easier for the cops to catch rapists."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"