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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if Trump is lying? His lips move. How can you tell if Clinton is lying? [deleted]"

"Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach"

"The Karate Kid grew up to be The Karate Man and now he's the Pizza Hut delivery guy with a ponytail who tries to talk to you about swords."

"My penis was once in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then the librarian told me to take it out."

"Hey why isn't Phil Hughes playing in the test today? Oh didn't you hear, he was the first Australian to be killed by ebola!"

"""It goes from zero to sixty in 5 seconds."" ""Great. And exactly how much cocaine can I fit in the glove box?"" - Anyone buying a white BMW"

"Our local cinema is putting on a screening of the new James Bond film especially for dyslexics. Respect"

"This BMI chart is telling me I'm too short. What should I do? Should I eat more?"

"A snake slithers into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'm sorry but I can't serve you."" ""Why not?"" asks the snake. The bartender says, ""Because you can't hold your liquor."""

"Probably he best advice you will ever receive...... don't listen to any advice on the internet"