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Joke of the Day

"This BMI chart is telling me I'm too short. What should I do? Should I eat more?"

"Know how drunk girls go out of their way to insist how sober they are? The same rule applies to a guy who always talk about how ""big"" he is."

"What noise does a train say when it eats Chew Chew *crap joke*"

"Why do blondes wear panties? To keep their ankles warm."

"What does the president of Russia call his toilet? Vladimir's Poo Tin"

"Right? That noise. ~Me pretending that I know what I'm talking about when I get my car serviced"

"What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital? ""Oy vey!"""

"How did Donald Trump won with his poor vocabulary? He's the only candidate that America finally understands.."

"Remember ""pantsing"" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants"

"S/O to side walks, my legs, elevators, my arm, and my eyes For keeping me off the streets, helping me to stand up for my self, picking me up when I'm down, giving me a hand and showing me the light."