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Joke of the Day

"Frodo Baggins doesn't get Back Court Violations in basketball. He gets a There and Back Again"

"Why do trash pandas always get into a fight? They trash talk."

"My friend would be alive today... if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. >""Am I going to live?"" >""I don't know."" >""Read faster!"""

"I loved church when i was little, but what i hated was all the standing up, and sitting down and kneeling I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me already."

"Kevin Smith's new movie looks awful. I think I'd rather watch a movie directed by Southwest Airlines."

"What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can't beat 'em eat 'em!"

"I expected a medal for my bravery when I had a full-leg cast on. Instead, I got atrophy."

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"ANOTHER CHICKEN, ANOTHER ROAD Q: Why did the stoner cross the road? A: Who else would follow a chicken?"

"Finally came up with my new years resolution. I'm going to stop procrastinating!"