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Joke of the Day

"My friend would be alive today... if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. >""Am I going to live?"" >""I don't know."" >""Read faster!"""

"How does a viola greet a relative? Cello!"

"""There's plenty of fish in the sea"" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone."

"""how would you like your steak prepared?"" i'd like the chefs to work together and try their best and most of all have fun"

"[2 months into relationship] HER: you've changed ME: [proudly] showered, too"

"What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed Up"

"If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world."

"Today I was stabbed by a comedian You could say he had me in stitches."

"What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory? Two testicles."

"Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you're not being arrested?"