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Joke of the Day

"ANOTHER CHICKEN, ANOTHER ROAD Q: Why did the stoner cross the road? A: Who else would follow a chicken?"

"""Hey, let's share a bottle of wine and try out the shriek-laugh we've been rehearsing."" -The women next to everyone everywhere."

"Maybe it's just me, but reading books on an iPad Mini, I really miss the smell, the heft, the traditional reading experience of an iPad 2."

"NSFR: Two tampons are walking down the street towards you. One is a Super and the other is a Slim. Which one says ""Hi"" first? Neither one...they're both stuck up cunts."

"Queen: ""come to bed"" King: ""not until i have a name for my soldiers"" Queen: ""k night"" King: ""babe ur a fukin genius"""

"I've never been a fan of phone sex... ... mostly because they're made out of really hard plastic."

"For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction."

"With Jupiter ascending flopping the wachowskis are planning to quit the movie biz and going into the fast growing Mexican food business They are planning on naming their company as the Nachoskis"

"""Be cool, it's the cops"" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen"

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds."