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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"the poor people on welfare should not eat steak and sea food. they should be drinking raw sewage out of an old boot while thanking me"

"What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? The Wall was their last big hit. (ripped off a dark jokes thread a while back)"

"I'm looking at the serving size of Laughing Cow cheese and I see why the cow is laughing."

"What drinking game is Hillary Clinton best at? Flip Cup (coin)"

"I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster. Its didnt work out. She was a little shellfish."

"Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ...."

"A woman came in for a job interview wearing an abacus on her head. I hired her right on the spot. It's so hard to find employees who you can count on."

"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."

"A friend was showing me around his house... Friend: ""So this is our master bed room..."" Me: ""...You guys have a masturbate room?"""