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Joke of the Day

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

"My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning."

"What's a whale's favourite brand of hair gel? Krill Bream."

"What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand? A leprachaun's undivided attention."

"*slips seductively out of shorts* You know what that means... *sleeps soundly for 7 hours* *drools a little*"

"I don't know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you."

"Lif is too short"

"why couldn't mrs. claus get pregnant? santa only comes once a year and when he does it's down a chimney..."

"My job sent me to a sexual harassment seminar last week... And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it."

"I just told my sister I'm into incest.. She's taking it pretty hard"