193126

Joke of the Day

"It's embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn't sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing."

"Why does Dr.Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."

"My nose won't stop running. But, to be fair, it's the only part of my body that's still in shape."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not yelling and screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"A termite walks into a bar and asks... is the Bar Tender here?"

"You know why Santa has so big balls? He only comes ones a year."

"What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids? Naughty pine"

"Why did the Gluteus Maximus feel bullied? He was the butt of many jokes."

"What's the difference between falling from the 1st and 10th floor? Falling from the 1st floor: SPLAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Falling from the 10th floor: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SPLAT!"

"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."