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Joke of the Day

"I hope buying all this cat food doesn't make me look like a crazy cat lady. I just like the taste."

"Why hasn't the Rastafarian gone to see the barber? He's dreading it."

"I'm a really green person, but only because I hate the oceans."

"What do cow pastures smell like? Dairy air"

"Why do Indians hate snow? It's white and it's on their land."

"RETIRED STUNTMAN: We didn't have fancy CGI. If the script said to drive a truck into a dinosaur, we drove a truck into a goddamn dinosaur."

"A hipster burnt his tongue Drinking coffee before it was cool."

"I went on a boat trip around Paris, ...it was in-seine!"

"If you are making love to music, use live album cos you get a round of applause every 3 minutes."

"Me: i'll have a beer Bartender: ok it's on the house buddy Me:*grabbing him by collar* then get it down, i'm not climbing up there again"