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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intents!"

"Can anyone help me load Angry Birds on my PalmPilot? If so hit me up on my pager..."

"The best free drug is being super, super tired and then lying down."

"Pokemon Go down south. I've never been happier to live in the Bible Belt."

"Q: Why did the bird get a ticket? A: It broke the law of gravity!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"What's the difference between shame and pride? It depends on where I draw the line."

"[i get a phone call] ""Hi we'd like to talk to you about your tweets"" ME: Wow thank you but I don't do interviews ""This is the police"""

"How do you think the unthinkable? with an itheberg."

"Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle ..."