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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the bird get a ticket? A: It broke the law of gravity!"

"A blonde runs into a police station ""Officer! Officer! Help me, I've been graped!"" The policeman is confused ""graped"" he asks, ""well there was a bunch of them"""

"Me:Did you have a ruff day? Dog: Me:What? That was funny! Dog: Me:Do you not like puns? Dog: Me:I think I'm high. Dog:Did you smoke my weed?"

"When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

"Nothing makes me more aware of my multiple personalities than listening to my entire iPod playlist on shuffle."

"I have this condition, I wake up at ten to nine every day... Doctor says it is nothing serious just a mild case of ten-to-ninetis."

"The 1920 Red Sox were completely ruthless..."

"Make sure to make eye contact with the hottest person in the room as you stuff a burrito into your mouth"

"What do Kodak film and John Lennon have in common? They both came in a yellow box"

"It's been three weeks since I put superglue on my friend's pen. But he still can't let it go."