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Joke of the Day

"I once had a job circumcising elephants. The pay sucked, but the tips were big!"

"Be careful what batteries you use. My GF uses Energizer batteries and her kid keeps going and going."

"I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn't. So I gave it mouth to mouth."

"14-year old Becky writes ""Stop wars"" as her Facebook status. It gets nine ""likes"", all from world leaders. Peace reigns forever. She did it."

"From my son: What did the hippopotamus do to the magician? He hippo-tized him!"

"If Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?"

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don't know, don't care."

"Today my brother got pinkeye... My day went pretty well, but in his eyes it was pretty shitty."

"I did some research to study if women like to use soap or body wash when they shower. 100% of them didn't like me watching them while they bathed."

"It's better to plagiarize from Encarta than from Wikipedia, because people actually read Wikipedia."