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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don't know, don't care."

"What did the lipstick and the eye-shadow do after they got into a fight? Had makeup sex"

"The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse."

"How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!"

"Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom? She was afraid someone would steal her IP address."

"I wonder if a ghost has ever watched me masturbate."

"Finding Nemo (2003) A father is criticized for being overprotective after his wife & kids are murdered & his only surviving son is kidnapped"

"My girlfriend just text me that she really hates periods... I told her without them, life would just be one long run-on-sentence"

"What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents? US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots."

"Butler I've got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing serves him right."