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Joke of the Day

"I did some research to study if women like to use soap or body wash when they shower. 100% of them didn't like me watching them while they bathed."

"One from my half asleep Girlfriend What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman? They got Bale."

"Why can't Albert Einstein drive? Because he never learned."

"Terry Schiavo's husband might have kept her alive if he was a vegan. Then he would have an all he can eat vegetable."

"What's the difference between a JCB and a giraffe? One's got hydraulics, the other's got high bollocks."

"What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve? Auld Lang Swine."

"(boom boom clap) (boom boom clap) Daisy you're a dog you're a good dog Playing in the park Gonna eat some cool bugs today"

"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"

"""I'm not sure-"" wife: honey he's a zookeeper if he says these are koalas I trust him-aww look at them! *the raccoons hiss from the dumpster*"

"If I ever ask you, very seductively, ""Do you wanna do it?"" It means take a nap."