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Joke of the Day

"Buttsex is a lot like spinach If you're forced to have it as a child. You'll never enjoy it as an adult. Thank you Daniel Tosh."

"how do I keep my skin looking so young? it's all thanks to [turns to camera smiling] an ancient curse [locusts pour from my mouth & eyes]"

"A man was asked if he was Indecisive He couldn't make up his mind."

"It's so obvious that she wants me. She avoids me at all costs probably because her feelings are so strong for me. Yeah, I'll go with that."

"Mother: How was your first day at school? Son: It was all right except for some man called ""Teacher"" who kept spoiling all our fun!"

"Why was the man arrested for having his skin flute played? It was in A-minor"

"What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows? This is a bomb in a bull."

"What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !"

"One day I'm probably going to be too lazy to breathe and just die."

"Where do swashbuckling turds come from? A pirates booty"