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Joke of the Day

"I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore... I'm moving the fridge to my room."

"I pledge allegiance to the Pizza and to the taste for which it stands, one Circle under sauce, with ranch and breadsticks for all"

"Currently on minute 137 of Easy~Bake Oven cupcakes. I'll be live Tweeting their status as they crisp up over the next day or two."

"League of Legends, Dota, and Hearthstone are now on ESPN Title"

"What cereal do impotent men eat? Nut-N Raisin Honey"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change bulbs and 3 to sit around and complain that the original was better."

"Why are gametes so popular? Because sex cells!"

"Fred came home from his first day at school. ""Nothing exciting happened"" he told his mother ""Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"""

"Hello sir. Your toddler called me a 'stinky poopyhead' at the store. I've spent 6 days formulating a comeback, and I'd like to own him now."

"Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half."