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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick of employers asking me what I'm doing in the next four years It's not like I have 2020 vision"

"People need to stop with all the gay jokes... ...I mean, come on guys."

"""Excuse me shopkeep, where are your Terminators?"" ""Aisle B, back""."

"probably the funniest noises you could hear during a funeral would be an actual donkey bray (eeyore noise), or the sound of dial-up internet"

"The only thing standing between you and your dreams is insomnia."

"In colllege what was the difference between pumpkin pie and my girlfriend? I shared the girlfriend."

"The next man who calls me deluded is going to regret it when he finds me sitting in his house wearing a wedding dress."

"How do you know Bono is selfish? He does a lot of Pro-Bono work."

"If you're happy and you know it go to hell"

"Anglo/German Dad Joke Q: What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull? A: 10:45"