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Joke of the Day
"I have a roommate. She cleans my room, I clean hers. We are maid for each other."
Next Joke
"billy joel: we didn't start the fire detective: I haven't mentioned a fire billy joel: shit"
"Why did the bat miss the bus? Because he hung around for too long."
"I got banned from the sperm bank the other day... They said I couldn't come within five hundred feet of the building."
"My Dad died recently, but unfortunately I slept in and missed the funeral I guess I'm not a mourning person"
"My neighbor, an elderly prostitute, adopted a puppy and asked me if I could help train it. I told her ""No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."""
"I was visiting /r/nononono and I saw the rule on people not being able to walk away from something, and so I thought... What if they crawled away?"
"I love Mondays... It's when I take my weekly sarcasm class."
"A tad bit racist... How do you starve a black man? Put his food-stamps next to his work boots."
"I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow"