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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you a planet? Because i can see Uranus through my binoculars at night."

"Just think of the money we could have saved with Hillary. We would have saved 24% by hiring a woman."

"Why shouldn't you hang out with zombies? They make rotten friends"

"What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet? Last year's winner of the blonde ""hide and go seek"" contest"

"I know Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, Judo, Aikido and lots of other scary words."

"You think you can take me, tough guy? I'd like to see you try. Seriously, anywhere fun you might be going. Take me with."

"What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon? The 'mons of Venus."

"Why did ISIS invade Antarctica? They saw a documentary about penguins and thought the continent was full of devout Islamic women."

"My girlfriends father wouldn't let us sleep together when I stayed over at her house Which is a shame because he's very attractive."

"Kid: Hey, Mum! What's an orgasm? Mom: I don't know dear, ask your father."