112475

Joke of the Day

"You think you can take me, tough guy? I'd like to see you try. Seriously, anywhere fun you might be going. Take me with."

"what do you call an effeminate dwarf? A metro-gnome...."

"I need to order faster internet then :D Lag makes you violent, not the games :D"

"A call When making food, mum asked me to **call** out to her once I finish draining something. So, being a smart ass, I called her phone."

"Guys remember: if you encounter a girl in her natural habitat, don't panic. She's just as scared as you. Make loud noises, she will run off."

"Old classic light bulb. How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb? depends on how many survivors there are. too soon."

"First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"So my friend asked me how often I make chemistry jokes. I replied ""Periodically"""

"My husband gets so mad when I introduce him as my first husband."

"Girl I work with says to me, ""Why dont you like Taylor Swift? Shes awesome!"". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in."