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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriends father wouldn't let us sleep together when I stayed over at her house Which is a shame because he's very attractive."

"Welcome to college! Here's a list of our majors. Here's a list of majors that lead to unemployment. As you can see, both lists are the same."

"Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted."

"Doctor I swallowed a PEN!!! Doctor, Doctor I swallowed a PEN, WHAT DO I DO? Doctor: Use a pencil..."

"Best Porn movie title ever Q:What do you call a Czechoslovakian gay porn movie? A:Czech is in the male. yeah..... As a bonus: This is actually a real movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1091755/"

"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's been knifed"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino. (You may have to sound it out.)"

"KFC Team Member: Anything else? Me: More gravy please, I'll say when [several hours later] KFC TM: WE'RE GONNA DROWN M: I didn't say when"

"How many Germans do you need to screw in a lightbulb? One. We're efficient not funny!"

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you next month."""