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Joke of the Day
"HTML my life."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul. Heard it on ""The Forbidden Room"" on Netflix"
"Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?"
"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese. Here all night folks."
"When I'm at the pool, hopefully girls see the scratches on my body and assume I'm a great lover, and not that I enjoy giving cats piggybacks"
"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin dating Chris Brown."
"So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song."
"Why did the illegal latinos all fail their English classes? They didn't turn in their eses."
"The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were tweeting all night with a calculator."
"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the five stages of learning that Ben Affleck is the new Batman."