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Joke of the Day

"Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?"

"Edgy? You are seriously describing WINE as ""edgy""? Vodka with Xanax and a side of knife fight is edgy. This is Welch's."

"i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions"

"What do you call a mummy on a horse? A knight in Charmin armor."

"BLONDE DRIVER Q: Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? A: Her blinker was on."

"What's the difference between a canoe and a jew? A jew don't tip"

"I choked on viagra this morning. I had a stiff neck for hours."

"Never tell a blind Catholic that seeing is is believing..."

"What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!"

"Autocorrect changed Italian to Taliban, so now I'm sure the NSA is super interested in my ricotta cheese."