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Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts walks into a bar... ...and one was a salted."

"Did you hear the one about the shrimp throwing a fit? He was just being tempuramental."

"Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods... ...?"

"""Wetalian!"" -Multiple Italians"

"Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend? Because Sharon is Karen."

"The Pumpkin Spice Gang ~An over caffeinated pack of basic white girls that can do things with a selfie stick that you didn't think possible."

"Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed."

"What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt."

"My mom always has these great sayings for life, like ""Don't count your chickens before they hatch"" and ""Everybody hates you."""

"A vagina is like a warm toilet seat on a cold day It's nice, but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."