118821

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt."

"How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French? Melon D'OH"

"I got kicked out of the hospital tonight. Apparently the sign ""Stroke Patients Here"" meant something different."

"Why'd the ISIS fighter bring his son to the execution? Like all fathers, he wanted his son to get ahead."

"What is the first derivative of a cow? A prime rib."

"If you're a couple who sit on the same side of the booth, I'mma slide into the empty seat and eat your fries. Stop creeping everyone out."

"Why does Daenerys Targaryen listen to Hoagy Carmichael? Because she's got Jorah on Her Mind."

"a man comes into a bar... or was it a horse? yeah i think it was a horse. so a man comes into a horse...."

"I've been happily married for four years -out of a total of 10."

"""Oh, just a scotch."" The bartender says, ""what can I get for you?"" A tachyon walks into a bar."