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Joke of the Day

"The Pumpkin Spice Gang ~An over caffeinated pack of basic white girls that can do things with a selfie stick that you didn't think possible."

"If your wife says ""take out the trash"" do not reply with ""you cooked it you take it out."""

"The hot chick I hooked up with last night must be a Berny Sanders fan... Because when I went to go pee, I could feel the burn."

"What's the name of a computer that turned into a singer A dell."

"A girl went to Thailand for a week... And came back a changed man."

"What's worse than having a girlfriend with no tits? Having tits and no girlfriend."

"Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you."

"They got 5 guys making one hamburger? No wonder the employment numbers are up."

"My ex sent me a picture to remind of what I'm giving up. I sent her a picture of my new girl so she knows I don't give a f*ck..."

"Why don't you put eggs in a microwave? Because they eggsplode. :D"