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Joke of the Day

"What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees? All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite..."

"What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? ""I'm sweet on you!"" "

"How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome? You pull down its genes!"

"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! This is what Santa Clause says when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room."

"6 more days, guys.. That's December 26. The day everybody puts their shitty Xmas gifts on Ebay so poor people, like me, can buy them!"

"What do you say to Simba if he's walking too slow? Mufasa."

"Me: I'm updating my fitness app. Is bowling a sport? Him: You didn't bowl. You kept score. Me: Is score-keeping for bowling a sport?"

"Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory? Because he went crackers."

"Please stop looking so hot, I'm trying to stop liking you."

"My paper rips a lot It's tearrible paper."