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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm updating my fitness app. Is bowling a sport? Him: You didn't bowl. You kept score. Me: Is score-keeping for bowling a sport?"

"I lost 50 pounds by having my wallet stolen in London AND YOU CAN TOO"

"Isis isn't cool... It's radical!"

"I knew a guy who bowled a three hundred and one How do you bowl a 301? Do you know anyone who has bowled a 300 and lost?"

"On my cakeday... ... -1 2^3 and it was delicious!"

"What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts? Bill Nye the Seance guy."

"So I slept with your daughter last night. She has a tiny dick though."

"Cinderella taught me that everything will work out just fine so long as you have unconscionably small feet."

"What do you call a person who drinks way too much soda? A Coke-o-nut."

"How do you fit an elephant into a subway? Take the ""S"" out of sub. And the ""F"" out of way!"