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Joke of the Day

"FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: ""Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"""

"I'm so single, I was at a bar last night and a cute guy offered to buy me a cat."

"Half Life 3 was going to be released several years ago... ...But the voice actor for Gordon Freeman was supposed to announce it, and no-one can find him."

"If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country. Not a political repost I'm just getting deported"

"Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?"

"Why do mice have tiny balls? Not very many of them know how to dance"

"Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?"

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it's tearable!"

"After watching superman vs batman trailer, my expectation during exam time. Professor : Tell me...do you read ? Me : No Professor : You will"

"So I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV I then shouted, ""Hey that is mine!"" but I then realised that mine was at home polishing my shoes"