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Joke of the Day

"If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country. Not a political repost I'm just getting deported"

"If a plane from California crashes in a cemetery in Montana where are the survivors buried?"

"What do you call a trumpet on a leash? A trumPET *Edit Also why is this Marked Politics?"

"Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors? Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box."

"I'm no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend."

"Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free."

"They discovered a new mummy in an Egyptian pyramid. He was found wrapped in chocolate and golden foil. They believe his name is Pharaoh Rocher."

"Turning vegan is a big missed steak."

"I played golf with a guy in a wheelchair today He must not play much judging by the silence I was met with when I asked him what his handicap is."

"i dont care if people dislike me, but if a pet ignores me, i will hit them up nonstop & keep changing my look drastically until they love me"