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Joke of the Day

"How do bored cows sound like? Meh"

"Support the war on crack. Stop wearing low rise jeans."

"If the sprayer in the sink can't get it off and the dishwasher can't get it off then I assume it's just meant to be a part of the pan."

"Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks? Because he thought it wood look better!"

"[ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?"

"Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did."

"What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh haven't you heard? He's dead!"

"What is Kylo Ren's favorite drink? Supreme Liter Coke."

"Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face."

"An Australian man walked in on his girlfriend getting changed and she said ""Have you heard of knocking?"" He said ""It doesn't ring a bell"""