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Joke of the Day

"If the sprayer in the sink can't get it off and the dishwasher can't get it off then I assume it's just meant to be a part of the pan."

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."

"[3 days into dieting] *sees ad for burger & fries* *drowns in his own saliva*"

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"" and I thought.. .. ""That sounds like a fair trade"""

"Yo girl, are you my appendix? Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"You still have 10 more hours to lose all the weight from your last New Year's resolution. Hurry !"

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"What is a Viking's favorite music? Ragnarock"

"_____________/\__________\o/_____ Swim little man swim! Swim away from the shark! You have to save yourself!"

"The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense."