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Joke of the Day

"All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi."

"I'm a dyslexic tree... My life is A-OK!"

"Why did the skeleton go alone to prom? Because he had *nobody* to go with."

"Some people brings happiness wherever they go I bring happiness whenever I go"

"I bet Patrick Swayze's ""Ghost"" ghost & Bruce Willis's ""6th Sense"" ghost make beautiful pottery together in movie heaven."

"""I'm sorry I'm legally not allowed to take more than 3 passengers."" *runs through 4 red lights going 15 miles over the speed limit.*"

"A man purchases a kitten, which he's having trouble house breaking. What does his friend say when he comes to visit? Your house is quite the cat-ass-trophy."

"No matter how kind you think you are... German kids are always kinder"

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"Police have been playing Pokemon Go for many years. ""Gotta catch Jamal"""