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Joke of the Day

"I'm a dyslexic tree... My life is A-OK!"

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"What do you call a hard working machine? Juan Deer"
"I want to become famous... so that one day, when people approach me asking ""Hey, do I know you from somewhere?"" I can reply with ""I don't know, do you watch a lot of porn?"""
"uh oh sombody posted a sad facebok status. i beter like it to show i care but also coment a sad face emoji to show i dont literaly ""like"" it"
"My mailman got gender reassignment surgery. Now he's a post man"
"[Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella] Prince Charming: Um... well. Tell ya what, I'm gonna keep on looking."
"A book just fell on my head.. and I've only got myshelf to blame."
"I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed."
"I'm doing a book signing at Barnes & Noble today. Nobody asked me to. It's not even my book."
"What does the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"