187926

Joke of the Day

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"How did the leper hockey game end? There was a face off in the corner."

"How does an Alabama girl know she's in for a crazy night? Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten."

"I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins"

"What's the difference between feminists and guns? Guns only have one trigger. At the time I was writing this, my mom and sister were in the middle of a death battle yelling match, help."

"Whats a Mexican's Favorite Sport? Cross Country"

"Why is the bicycle unable to stay up? Because it is two-tired!!!!"

"Daddy, why is grandma so bitter? I don't know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful"

"Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time."

"What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic? A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. ~ Infinite Jest, by DFW"